Safety Seals...Ack!!

What is it with safety seals anyway? Now I understand that, thanks to a woman near my hometown here, we need safety seals. Yes, the Tylenol murderer lived near here. I don't know if that is what they called her, but she wanted to kill her husband or someone so she tainted several Tylenol bottles, returned them to the store shelf and unfortunately, not only did she kill her husband, but at least one other person.

Thanks to our local murderer, we have seals on everything even food. Even peanut butter. Yes, you know that heavy, foil, cardboardy thing. Pain relievers and other meds have a thinner, but fingernail resisitant foil on them.

So what do I do? I get a sharp knife out and proceed to puncture, slice, sever, cut, obliterate the foil seal. Now how safe is that? A butter knife isn't sharp enough so the sharp knife seems to be the only option.

Do you send your kids out to open the new container of peanut butter? Probably not. You can't even let them stay in the room while you open it because certainly no on should use a knife to open a safely sealed container. We teach our kids the proper way to use a sharp knife and end up stabbing ourself while opening the peanut butter with a sharp knife.

The other day I tried to lift the cardboardy, foily seal up with my fingernails. I managed to get a bit of an opening so I pulled harder and "rip" goes a piece of the seal. So I tried again and this time I managed to get peanut butter on my finger.

I continued with this pulling and ripping craziness and I surely had enough peanut butter on my fingers and the outside of the jar to make a sandwich. I should have taken a slice of bread and wiped the outside of the container and my fingers on it and just been happy with that. But I continued after washing my hands, to pull and rip, pull and rip, wash my hands again and pull and rip.

I think I might have said a bad word or two while I continued on my determined way to get this bleep jar of peanut butter open. Boy was I hungry by the time I got the jar open.

I collected all of the peanut buttery pieces of the foily, cardboardy seal and tried to throw them away, but of course they were sticking to my hands and I was flinging and shaking my hands over the bleep garbage can. I rubbed and scraped my hands onto the garbage can until I got it all off of me. Washed my hands again and spread that lovely peanut butter on my, now very cold toast, sat down at the table with cold tea and cold toast. Ahhhhhh!

Now isn't that just the most pleasant way to start a day? I love it and I can't wait until we get another jar of peanut butter. I'll be the first one there to open it. Maybe I'll think of a new and exciting way to obliterate remove the lovely foily, cardboardy seal.

Another lesson in patience, longsuffering and anger management brought to you exageratingly, by Mocha Momma. AH!