Friday, August 21, 2009

My Testimony Part I

I've been thinking about sharing my testimony. I decided that since it's hard for me to keep this story short, I will do it in parts. Hopefully I can keep it to two parts. It may be long because I was thirty years old when I became a Christian.

I'll start with my childhood. My family was a church going family and we were good citizens. My parents worked hard and did their best to raise us right. There was a major life changing event for me about age 7 or 8. I have blocked it out for many years so I cannot recall times and ages. I have forgiven the person who sinned against me and have taken many years to mend.

I was always a people pleaser and I lacked confidence. I responded well to discipline, but as I entered high school I became somewhat rebellious. Junior high was difficult for me. I hung out with girls who smoked, but I didn't. I was a target for teasing and bullying. I didn't know how to handle this and did not tell anyone because I didn't want it to get worse as a result of being a tattle tale.

When it was time for high school, there was a new school being completed. One of my friends from my homeroom class talked me into going to the new school. I assumed we would become fast friends and hang out during the summer. We never spent one day together even though I made several attempts to get together with her. She always said her dad wouldn't allow whatever I invited her to do. I gave up, but still hoped to see her on the first day of school.

I didn't see her and I didn't recognize her when she walked right past me. She knew who I was and didn't say a word. I didn't know who she was until I passed her because she had matured a lot during that summer and she got her hair, which was very long in junior high, cut very short. I called out her name, she acknowledged me at that point, but didn't want talk much. She was a cheerleader now. Nothing against cheerleaders. I liked cheerleaders and admired them for many reasons.

That sweet and kind girl I knew all through junior high had decided she was too good for me and never spoke to me again. You could say I had placed all of my eggs in one basket hoping this girl would be my friend. I depended on other people to keep me happy and entertain me and invite me and ask me to be their friend. I was bad at choosing friends (I let them choose me). I trusted the wrong people and often wound up getting hurt, not to mention I was easily offended and hurt.

I met one of my forever friends that year though. Even though I hung out with the wrong people most of the time (she did too), we were pretty good kids when we hung out together. Neither of us was a Christian, but we both went to church, we enjoyed going to Campus Life meetings and we both came from good families.

I thought her family was okay until I heard the truth many years later, but that's another story. Today we are both Christians and happily married with children and still good friends.

I didn't do well at the new high school, so the next two years I went to the school I was closest too, had a lot of fun with a new group of friends (my old friend included) and graduated, but not with any honors. Just glad to have graduated.

I did a lot of stupid things and had a lot of close calls with life changing, bad decisions or lack of making a decision. For some reason I didn't get into any big trouble. I always managed to have a near miss. Probably the reason for me to continue on a downward spiral of bigger and bigger bad choices. Still nothing took me to rock bottom.

I went to college, but got married before I finished to a guy from high school at age 22. He was in the Navy Seal Team. I didn't know what that meant and boy was I surprised to learn quickly that drinking was more important than going home to a wife.

We had a difficult time for several years, but we managed to stay married and I think it was because he deployed so often that I would forget how mad I was at him by the time he returned. When he was home I didn't want to rock the boat so I tried to just go with the flow.

I didn't go to church very often, but I kept trying. I left once when he refused to ask his friend to move out of our house so we could work on our relationship more. I came back about two months later much to his disliking. We lived in a renovated garage we called "the cave" until we moved to the dump behind it in the alley.

I went in the Navy at age 24 thinking I wouldn't be able to quit a job like that and I could make a good paycheck and have my own benefits. I had worked in fast food places, a swap meet, and a video arcade (where I was accused of stealing the money from the night before. I wouldn't have gone to work the next day if I had stolen the whole night's income) and I was a warm body in a computer store for awhile. That was a joke. I knew absolutely NOTHING about computers or software.

I will stop here for now. In summary, it's about 1982,I'm about 24 years old and I live in a dump in an alley. I'm married to a guy in the Navy Seal team who has a serious drinking problem and didn't want me, his wife, to be in his life, but I was too naive to know it. Sounds like a sad story and it gets worse, but I'm here to tell you, it gets much better, believe me.


  1. Ok, I'm ready to read the happy ending. :o)

  2. okay, I'm hanging out for the bit where it gets lots better! So sorry that the events that went into forming the wonderful person you are today were less than wonderful experiences... I'll pray for you as you continue to write it down.

  3. Mocha, I am glad to have read the beginings of your testimony. Thank you for sharing dear one. Blessings....

  4. wow, can't wait to read the rest of the story.

  5. Glad I already know how it turns out! I didn't realize he was a Navy Seal though. Funny how you don't need computer know-how 'cause you got your hubby!

  6. Hello Nannette,

    You did a good job writing this…it moves right along and is smooth reading.

    It is sad so many things did not go well for you…but at least I know you have the Lord now.